Dear Santa

Write your letter to Santa.

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at John's Christmas party. It was Mary who spiked the punch with too much cappuccino. I can't help it if I drank 666 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like pumpkin spice.

I thought it was funny when I put Suzy-Q's sports bra on my head and danced the tango on the bed while singing `Sweet Emotion'. I didn't mean to break John's TV and don't know why John would sue me for capital murder.

I don't remember calling Steven's wife a horrendous cow---even though she looked like one with magenta eye shadow and purple lipstick!

And when I threw up on Mary Lou's husband's thigh, it was only because I ate too much of that spinach.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my pickup truck through my neighbor's front door. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a gorgeous panther and have me arrested for B&E!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all fiery and gigantic. And I'm really not to blame for any of this energetic stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and airily yours,
La de Boheme (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 20 bucks!